I posted something along the lines of this on my Instagram page a couple days ago and just want to share it more in depth on here. Growing up and when I was in high school I always wanted to do something bigger than myself. I always wanted to go out and love and serve Gods people. I always wanted to just do that and I never really quite knew what that looked like for me.
When I graduated high school I moved out to Missouri and went to college out there for a year, but I ended up back in Alabama. I was confused and didn’t understand exactly what my purpose was here. I never really liked where I was from, I never really liked the people I surrounded myself with. There was SO MUCH missing in my heart that I didn’t know what to do.
Then I ended up going to a new church and started serving like crazy and really getting to be the person and be in ministry after years of being rejected from it I was FINALLY getting to do something. I finally felt at home, and I finally felt at peace, but something was missing. Last April I went on a mission trip to St. Louis, Missouri with a group from my church and I fell IN LOVE with the ministry and always thought that I would end up back and going on this trip every single year.
Fast forward to November of 2019. I made the decision to get baptized again and that was a decision that I needed and wanted to make for a LONG time, but I always let fear get in the way. I remember right before I went to get baptized I just asked the Lord “Lead me to do something bigger than myself. Whatever it is I will say yes to you” and it wasn’t but a week or so later I was applying for the World Race and going through the process. I always thought that missions wasn’t for me, I couldn’t go out on the mission field and all of the things I tried to talk myself out of doing this and how “it wasn’t for me.”
Looking at now I couldn’t be more thankful and excited to be spending three months on the mission field. This quarantine has been such a sweet time for me and God revealed to me that this is the something bigger than myself that I have always prayed for. The chance to go and serve His people and love on His people. This is exactly what I was meant to do this entire time, but I always talked myself out of it. My squad is full of some serious world changers and I can’t believe in just 110 days we get to spend SO much more time with each other than just on FaceTime every weekend and talking through a phone screen throughout the week.
This journey is going to be one for the books and something I will be talking about for literally the rest of my life. I was listening to a song I JUST came across writing this blog that I really want to use some lines from the lyrics to be my prayer going into this season and maybe you need it to be your prayer to.
“Speak, oh, speak to me now. Tenderly, quietly, it doesn’t even need to be loud. Speak, oh, speak to me now. I know You’re all around me. I just want to feel you here somehow. I’m giving You space to speak. I’m giving You space to speak, oh, my God. It’s just You and me. A little more room to breathe. A little more room to breathe, oh, my Lord. You’re what I need” Space To Speak – Tenth Avenue North
